The Screen Cap Revue presents

John Carpenter's
Big Trouble in Little China

So, my coconspirator Phil laid down the gauntlet about two weeks ago by challenging me to do a screen cap review of a movie. Yep, that's no horse shit, Wang. He then dropped a few flicks in a poll and had you, our loyal readers, vote. The winner was one of my favorite films, Big Trouble in Little China. Although I am surprised that Blame it on Rio got ZERO votes, given Michelle Johnson's brazen lack of regard for clothing would make for one hell of a screen cap review, but Big Trouble is just fine by me. (Secretly I was pulling for Women in Cages - big Pam Greer fan) There's not much else to say except that this is more of a synopsis, rather than a review due to the fact that I can only use pictures and captions, but I still hope you enjoy. If you have not seen the film and plan on it, than I encourage you to stop reading and dial up your Netflix que and push this bastard to the top. Because you will know most all of the story after this post. But if you have seen it (which I suspect most of you have), then read/view away and leave a comment and let me know how I did. It's tough to retell a film in twenty pics, but you know what `ole Jack Burton always says?

Jack Burton always says, "What the hell."

#1: Truck driver Jack Burton unwinds with some strange Chinatown game

that involves wagering and what appears to be dominoes.

#2: Jack and old friend Wang wait at the airport for Wang's green eyed fiancee, Miao Yin.

#3: Miao Yin is kidnapped at the airport by some wacky Chinese gang bangers known for prostitution and slavery.

#4: After pursuing Miao Yin's kidnappers, Jack and Wang find themselves in the middle of a true Chinese standoff.

#5: After the standoff ends with three mysterious warriors, Jack runs over this cat with his rig, 2000 year old David Lo Pan, who then wreaks havoc with his mouth.

#6: We officially meets Gracie Law, a (you guessed it) lawyer who's been trying to get people to listen to her about Lo Pan. And Wang has a plan to get his girl back.

#7: Which is Jack dressing up like a douche bag and infiltrating the brothel/bath house/slave den place and steal Miao Yin back. All is fine until...

#8: Miao Yin is kidnapped again, this time by Lightning Man, one of the warriors from the alleyway back by the standoff. (Pretend like I had a screen cap of all three of them a few caps back. I had to majorly edit this thing to try and hit 20.)

#9: We learn that Lightning Man was one of Lo Pan's henchmen, who stole Miao Yin because of her beautiful, green eyes. Plan B, walk right into Lo Pan's business and steal her back, again.

#10: Plan B foiled. And we get the pleasure of meeting David Lo Pan,

who now looks much more like a gross 2000 year old guy.

#11: Dave tells them about the curse that can only be lifted by marring a girl with green eyes.

#12: A very unlikely escape.

#13: Jack rescues Gracie from Lo Pan, who was imprisoned by trying to save Jack and Wang.

#14: Jack loves the ladies. Even when escaping in a sewer drain.

#15: Unannounced to anyone, Gracie is attacked and kidnapped by this visually unpleasant guy here.

#16: With Miao Yin and Gracie both kidnapped by Lo Pan, Egg from Egg Fu Young Tours comes to the rescue with the good guy cavalry. And yes, they're savvy in English.

#17: Egg leads the rescuers under Chinatown to a back way into the den of Lo Pan.

#18: Since Gracie also has green eyes, Lo Pan plans to marry both women and make himself flesh and blood again.

#19: The ceremony is complete! :(

#20: Jack goes into "kill the 2000 year old guy who just married my girl" beserker mode and fires his weapon into the air.

#20: Which is never a good idea.

#20: Jack recovers from his minor head trauma, only to help the fight to destroy Lo Pan, who escapes into the large skull escalator, which is destroyed in the next screen cap.

#20: Jack also saves Gracie, and chases Lo Pan into his throne room to give it one last go. What the hell, right?

#20: Jack throws his knife at Lo Pan, who is real person now, and misses wildly. Lo Pan advises us that he will now kill Jack by calmly saying, "Good bye, Mr. Burton."

#20: But for Jack Burton, it's all in the reflexes. The blurry thing left of center is Jack's knife, hurled at his face. But Jack catches it and...

#20: Booya!

#20: And when the master falls, so do the golden Budda's. The day has been saved

and the pillars of Heaven have been shook.

#20: Farewells and goodbyes. And the check is in the mail.

So there you have it. 20 screen caps...more or less. I hope this worked, because it was a whole lot harder than I expected it to be. My first cut had 63 screen caps and I think we can all agree that would have been just a tad excessive - and not really close to 20. And what a great movie, arguably one of Carpenter's best. I want to so badly write about the movie itself, but that wasn't the deal. Screen caps it was and screen caps it is.

So thanks for playing along AND, as a special thanks to all those who read this all the way through, I give you this little piece of Heaven.