Summer Apocalypse, Ya'll!

The summer apocalypse is upon us once again and being that this is a movie blog, if you want to maintain any semblance of street cred with da kids - you kinda need to have summer movie reviews. And after a few moments of contemplative thought, we decided to ask Rick, a 3 time guest-poster and great friend of Lazlo's Closet, to...well, I'll just shut the yap and let the son of a bitch tell you himself.

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What’s up loyal readers? Mark and Phil have tapped me to become their summer movie reviewer. I wish I could say that it’s because of my witty reviewing skills that I have displayed on this site, but that’s not really it. The real reason is because I don’t have children and I have a lot more spare time on my hands. Of course, it also helps that I go see a lot more movies (in the theater) than they do. So, I humbly accept this great honor. For the next several months, I will share with you my experiences as I take on the “SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER”!

I am going tonight to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. So, it will begin this evening. My friends, I have to say that we might be in for a long summer. The horizon does not look so bright. There is no The Dark Knight or Iron Man to set it apart. Instead, we have Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen! If you interested in getting a review of the “Bay Extravaganza”, you’re reading the wrong blog. I firmly stand by this site’s mantra of “NO BAY, JOSE”.

However, Terminator Salvation (this is my Transformers of the summer), Drag Me To Hell, Harry Potter And The Half-BloodPrince, Land Of The Lost, and G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra are all fair game. All films will be viewed at the greatest movie theatre on planet Earth, The Alamo Drafthouse.

So, my friends that hang out in Lazlo’s Closet, follow me as I wade my way through this summer’s cinema wasteland. This is the dawning of Rick’s Picks: Selenium Apocalypse!!!

Short, sweet and about 30,000 words less than his BNAT review. Anyway, we're really glad to have you on and quite honestly, about as excited as the lead actor in a Shannon Whirrey film. And just a side note, we asked Rick to come up with a little funny, wit laden title for his summer reviews (i.e. Rickapalooza or Flickapalooza or even Rickaflickapalooza). So what does he come back with? Selenium Apocalypse. Nice! And not to insult anyone's intelligence, but if you were wondering...

Selenium Se*le"ni*um\, n. (Chem.) A nonmetallic element of the sulphur group, and analogous to sulphur in its compounds. It is found in small quantities with sulphur and some sulphur ores, and obtained in the free state as a dark reddish powder or crystalline mass, or as a dark metallic-looking substance. It exhibits under the action of light a remarkable variation in electric conductivity, and is used in certain electric apparatus. Symbol Se. Atomic weight 78.9.

OR

Selenium Se*le"ni*um\, n. (Chem.) The shit they make film out of.

So while Rick may hit just about all the summer blockbusters, Phil & I will still get to our fair share and be more than happy to blabber on about them. Cool? Anyway, I wonder if Sam Jackson is looking forward to the new Transformers flick...

Sorry I even asked.