Rick's Picks: Land of the Lost (A Selenium Apocalypse Early Review)

Land of the Lost (June 5, 2009)

Starring Will Ferrell, Anna Friel, Danny McBride, Jorma Taccone

Directed by Brad Silberling

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This past Memorial Day, I lost some serious brain cells. I’m positive I’m not the only one. This was not because I smoked a bunch of pot or drank too much. The culprit for this loss of brain cells was watching hours of Land Of The Lost marathon that was running all day on the Sci Fi Network. When I was a kid, this show was the coolest thing next to Batman for me. It had Sleestaks, dinosaurs, and other creatures. For back then, the special effects were cutting edge. As I laid in my bed trying to rekindle memories from childhood, I was left with laughter at how absurd this show was. The acting was beyond awful, the special effects were on an Ed Wood level, and the story line of each episode was which kid was going to get themselves in trouble. I knew it was bad, but I was compelled to watch hours of this. I guess all I took away from it was a little nostalgia. I asked myself how any of this would really translate to the big screen in today’s day and age.

The answer was simple. Will Ferrell.

Last night, I attended the sneak preview of Land Of The Lost at the Alamo Drafthouse (the greatest Movie theatre in the USA). This was set up and sponsored by Ain’t It Cool News and Universal Pictures. In attendance was Land Of The Lost creator Marty Krofft, director Brad Silberling, and composer Michael Giacchino. Attendees were told to arrive by 5:30 for all the pre-show activities. You could have your picture taken and have it superimposed on the movie poster for the film. This made for incredible people watching. All attendees were given some very bizarre gifts from the Universal reps. Everyone got a nice Land Of the Lost baseball cap and a Chaka backpack. Very creepy! Once in the theatre, our next surprise was a free appetizer platter of goodies that the Alamo chefs whipped up for this special night. Harry Knowles of Ain’t It Cool did a Q & A with Marty Krofft, Brad Silberling, and Michael Giacchino. As the theatre lights dimmed, we were all treated to a video introduction by stars Will Ferrell and Danny McBride. After that, it was show time folks!

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Land Of The Lost is based on the original show, but not by much. Make no mistake, this is a Will Ferrell comedy through and through. If you like Anchorman, Semi-Pro, Blades Of Glory, and Talladega Nights, you will love this movie. If you hated these movies, I forgive you if you stopped reading. Also, this is not one to bring the kids to. This movie really pushes the PG-13 rating. I just don’t think I would want to explain to my children what “Tap that ass” means. You’ve been warned.

Farrell plays Dr. Rick Marshall. Marshall believes that he has found the secret to finding parallel universes through time warp technology. Marshall is considered a nut case and is reduced to doing science lectures for children on field trips. His fate changes when Holly Cantrell (Anna Friel) comes to meet him. Holly is a true believer in Marshall’s theories. She convinces him to go on an expedition with her.

They end up at this cheap haunted cave tourist trap that is run by Will Stanton (Danny McBride). As Marshall, Will, and Holly enter the cave, Marshall’s tachyon amplifier freaks out and the three are rushed through a portal to a weird sideways universe where strange prehistoric creatures can attack and eat an ice cream truck (including its driver). Once there, they befriend a monkey boy named Chaka (Jorma Taccone). Chaka, after much humping of legs and grabbing of breasts, becomes the group’s guide through this land.

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Marshall’s first nemesis he encounters is Grumpy, the T-Rex. Many scenes in the movie are of Marshall being chased by Grumpy. What make these scenes funny is that Marshall is either screaming or spouting out an external monologue the entire time he’s being chased. These were some of my favorite scenes in the film. The other nemeses that the group encounters are the evil lizard people, the Sleestaks. I loved them on the old show and I love them today and they still move as slow as molasses. When escaping the Sleestaks, they happen upon a talking Sleestak named Enik (John Boylan). Enick convinces the group that they must find their tachyon amplifier and use it to stop the evil Zarn (voiced by Leonard Nimoy!!!!!).

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That’s the first half of the movie. You’re going to have to pay to see how it all ends up. Ferrel and McBride just feed off of each other in this film. I’m sure that a great majority of their lines were ad-libbed. You don’t write lines like “Captain Kirk’s nipples!” when discovering something. What’s so great about the Holly character is that she’s the smartest person in the group throughout. She’s also not afraid to take on an army of Sleestaks by herself. Anna Friel kicks some serious ass people! Friel and McBride are really going to take off in their respective careers after this movie.

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There are jerk-off jokes, drug use, and gay jokes galore in this film. Even something that I never considered, bathroom humor with dinosaurs. This is mindless humor, people, that you either giggle at or you don’t. The special effects are really well done. There are so many creatures in this movie and they look as good as if they strolled in from Jurassic Park. The sets design kept the ambiance of the old show, which I appreciated. As different as it was from the old show, I was able to grab little bits of nostalgia - especially from the Sleestaks.

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Overall, I enjoyed the movie and the whole experience. I’ve done these things before, but never on this scale. The Universal reps really out did themselves. They were very hospitable and made sure that we enjoyed the experience to the fullest. Also, thanks go out to Ain’t It Cool News and Harry Knowles for booking these amazing events. I wonder what premiere is heading this way next. Stay tuned!

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