Lazlo's Top 10 WORST Werewolf Films Ever Made

Joe Johnston's "The Wolfman" is coming to theaters February 12th, adding itself to the wolf pack of Werewolf movies filmmakers have been crafting since 1941 when the original Wolfman howled and clawed its way into our hearts. With Benicio Del Toro taking on the mantle of the Wolfman, I think this is going to be a favorite for fans of classic horror everywhere. And to help solidify the Wolfman's greatness in cinematic history, we are posting the Lazlo's Closet Top 10 WORST Werewolf films ever made.
10. Wolf
My favorite part of Wolf shows up in the trailer when Jack pisses on James Spader in the men's room. This is the only reason this is so high on the list. Anyone who takes a whiz on whiney Dr. Daniel Jackson is OK in my book. I think what bothered me most about Wolf is that it came out a short while after both Jack Nicholson and Michelle Pfeiffer were villains in Batman movies, and to my fragile comic book sated mind, it was like Catwoman and the Joker getting it on...and that just doesn't work for me.

9. Cursed
To tell the truth I kind of enjoyed parts of Cursed being a Wes Craven film, but I wasn't crazy about most of it. I was not even going to add it to the Top 10 worst, as I find the film falling in that middle area where it wasn't bad but wasn't great. So I guess I was banishing it to movie limbo and that was mostly because of the scene where Christina Ricci taunts the werewolf out of hiding by insulting her nails and split ends...

8. Werewolves On Wheels
I was in love with the imagery, several chopper driving lycanthropes tooling along a long stretch of road looking for trouble. The problem was you don't actually see the werewolves on anything with wheels until the last fifteen minutes of the film.

7. The Werewolf Vs. The Vampire Woman
I owe my experience with this film to the curse of the 50 Movie Pack that you find at the tail end of the horror section at Best Buy. I can't stay away from those things... Some cool, not exactly "Hammer" moments but nice looking scenery and costuming so if you squint you might fool yourself into thinking you are watching a Hammer Film. The 80 minute film feels like Lord Of The Rings in legnth and then it ends rather abruptly. The big battle at the end was a combo of slow motion leaping and rolling in the dirt growling and clawing at each other.

6. Curse Of The Werewolf
I have to say I have never been a fan of Oliver Reed, I don't know what it is and I hold no malice towards the actor. But even though he has done some pretty cool shit during his career (The Brood, Gladiator, Burnt Offerings) I still..you know what, I do like Oliver Reed. But Curse of the Werewolf still sucked.

5. The Werewolf Of Washington
"Hence it is evident that the state is a creation of nature, and that man is by nature a political animal". - Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) I'm guessing this is what Milton Moses Ginsberg was reading on the can when he came up with this plot. a reporter (Dean Stockwell) is bitten by a werewolf in Hungary and soon becomes the press assistant to the president of the U.S.A. Some have sited Werewolf Of Washington to be a "Horror-Comedy"...hmmmm, "Horror - Ridiculous premise with bad dialog", yes.

4. An American Werewolf in Paris
What happened to the drummer of that one hit wonder band that had that song...you know? "That thing you did", or something or other? Well after the band split he did what most failed musicians do, Get a teaching job, jam for a while getting the creative juices flowing with the help of some heroine and then go to France and get turned into a Werewolf...So much for that reunion gig.

3. Beast Of The Yellow Night
Wow, there goes that 50 Movie Pack acting up on me again...uuugh it's like when you try the pizza that was left out over night for breakfast the next day. It seems OK at first then it keeps repeating on you. This is one of the slowest, worst lit, lame action and make-up in film I have seen in...well since the last 50 pack DVD I put in the player. Why isn't it in the number one spot then you ask? Because I'd rather sit through this steaming pile of Wolf scat than the following...

2. Teen Wolf
Teen Wolf is a slap in the face of horror fans. A sad attempt to neuter the Werewolf film by shoving Michael J. Fox in our collective snouts. Wasn't he in enough stuff in the 80's? I mean, I think he pretty much owned that entire decade. Anyway, Werewolf films should not be quirky High School comedies!

1. Teen Wolf Too
Do I really need to get into this? Take what I said about Teen Wolf and times it by TOO!

And because you finished all of your Top 10 list we have a little doggie treat for you. A Werewolf film so bad I'm not even placing it in the worst top 10, I'm putting it BELOW the worst top 10. Buckle up buttercup because here it comes.
# 0. Fury Of The Werewolf

And one for the road...